The Mustache

By: Dr. Daniel Sadigh

My mustache has recently been an exciting topic. Soon after growing a mustache, I started receiving comments from almost every single person who was in touch with me. Everyone was positively or negatively providing me with an understanding of my mustache.

It was fascinating to hear the interpretations of what my mustache meant to each one, as every conversation started with something about it. I didn’t mind getting the feedbacks, yet it felt like my mustache had permitted others to project their thoughts and comment on my inner feelings. 

Comments like: “very manly,” “rough looking,” “ahh, ahh (in Farsi means disgusting or shit),” “bad boy,” “did you lose weight?”, “shave it right away,” “Ohh, charming (the one I liked the most),” “angry mustache?”, “What happened to the nice beard?” “cool,” “looks like a bunch of ants sitting above your lip.” 

All these flattering or unflattering comments made me curious about my mustache. 

What did it mean to ME?

In the middle-eastern cultures, like my Persian heritage, a man’s mustache has been associated with truthfulness and honesty, especially when one plugged out a single hair of his mustache and gave it to someone else to provide security. Just like an “I owe you” note or a signed check as financial transactions, a hair given from one’s mustache was the sign of accepting responsibility. 

It not only signified manhood and a man’s commitment to truth, but a connotation of honor, trustworthiness, loyalty, protection, stability, and strength. So, you can see why having a mustache could have been a big commitment and a serious claim. Before growing a mustache, you had to ask yourself: 

“Am I man enough for this sacred commitment?” 

Could it have been that deep inside my desire for growing a mustache was also to claim my creditworthiness, reliability, and outwardly declaring my inner truth?

Well, when I thought deeper into the reasons for having a mustache, I had to go beyond my manhood’s needs for credibility. Having a tick mustache couldn’t be a real sign of honor or trustworthiness. There were so many women around me who were equally reliable and trustworthy, yet they did not need to have a mustache to prove their credibility. Men and women could be similarly trusted according to their track records, and not with the growth of some hair floccules behind their lips. 

Now there was a new question on my mind: how did women show their creditworthiness? Lacking a mustache, what did they possess to show as a sign of trustworthiness? 

I did not have to think too deep as I could easily realize that a creditworthy woman makes commitments simply by being maternal and nurturing. The potential for growing a “whole person” is a woman’s gift, and womanhood goes far beyond any ordinary commitment. 

The nurturance and the security that most women are consistently providing for humankind creates an essential environment for the growth of both men and women. Without any doubt, such attributes are a superb sign of all credibility. Maternal care and offering comfort are at the core of the potential for growth and a child’s sense of assurance. There is nothing else as important as that kind of security.

We all yearn for security in every aspect of our lives. The common denominator of physical safety, mental ease, emotional confidence, relational collaboration, environmental protection, financial comfort, and even spiritual salvation is security. Growing some hair behind one’s lips and imagining it as a sign of commitment to providing security can never come close to the promise that a woman makes to this cause. 

Thus, feminine energy is by far more impactful in the overall sense of mental and emotional peace and comfort. Interestingly enough, those men who are more caring and provide a sense of wellbeing possess strong feminine energy.

Every man is born of a woman, so, every man carries the feminine energy of a woman from birth. 

At the same time, every maternal woman is also a source of bringing masculine energy to this world. Then, every woman carries some masculine energy, as well. Every secure man naturally appreciates the inherited femininity in them, so every attempt of an honorable or truthful man is to be committed to protecting the feminine values in them. 

We must understand the masculine or feminine values as universal energies of creativity. Just like the plus and minus signs of an electric surge, we all have both attributes at birth. In one gender, masculinity is more dominant, and in the other femininity. Like turning on a lamp, we need both of our masculine and feminine surges to be connected in harmony. Such a harmonious unison of the two polarities creates a bright life for us. We need them both because:

Each of these energies represents specific attributes that together bring us balance and wellbeing. 

Since both energies have many different positive and negative aspects, it is our responsibility to discern and realize how we can apply them in our day to day lives. Being familiar with these values is the key to making responsible choices and creating peace and freedom. 

Some of the masculine energy’s positive aspects are:

• Physical strength
• Authoritative
• Protective
• Courageous
• Active
• Black and white thinking
• Problem solver
• Goal-oriented
• Decisive
• Provider

And, some of the femininity’s positive aspects are:

• Empathy
• Sensitivity
• Caring
• Compassion
• Thoughtfullness
• Creative
• Humility
• Beautifying
• Nurturing
• Receptive

To demonstrate reliability and trustworthiness, a combination of many of the masculine and feminine aspects of us is required. Just having a mustache or being a woman cannot construct the necessary environment for human’s success and growth. We all need to first rely on our (-) sign for creativity, and then on the (+) sign for protectiveness.

Throughout history, the values of femininity have been discounted by men as soft, weak, fragile, and unimportant. Instead, society has valued physical strength, problem solving, courage, and action. Today, regardless of the obstacles that have taken us away from honoring our femininity, we need to go deeper beyond the gender-associated barriers. 

We all need to dig deeper into our judgmental elements and get in touch with our underutilized energies and values. As a man or a woman, we are compelled to care about our most inner-truth, which is universally aligned with the core of our creation and beyond manhood or womanhood. 

The superficial masculinity of a mustache and adhering only to masculine values signifies a lack and an imbalanced self.

Could a mustache be simply a beautifying addition that celebrates feminine virtues such as caring, humility, compassion, and nurturing? 

WHAT you care for is not as important as what YOU care for.

As I looked in the mirror, contemplating shaving or not, I decided to celebrate my mustache with a few more black hairs than white ones for a while longer.

The message I was receiving from the mirror was loud and clear, “Do what makes you feel good as a man and celebrate your feminine energy.”