And only one leads to success & happines
I admit I used to be a blamer!
For years, well into my adulthood, I used to live life on the EFFECT side. I believed with all my heart that if something didn’t work out, it was not my fault!
I had no problem to proudly take responsibility for all the good things that happened in my life. However, the not so good stuff was definitely not my doing!
I blamed everything and everyone for things that went wrong in my life…From blaming the NY humid weather for my bad hair days, to having kids at a very young age and not perusing my career, to being overwhelmed and exhausted with life and therefore not taking action on my dreams…. The list went on and on!
You see, there are only two ways we can live our life…At CAUSE or at EFFECT
I have been on both side of the equation, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that living “at cause” has been the most liberating way of living I have experienced.
And what exactly do I mean by living at Cause or the effect?
Let me answer that by asking you a question,
A) Do we have free will at creating the life that we want?
B) Or are we doomed by our circumstances and external events that will dictate our future?
If you answered YES to question A, kudos to you! You are living at Cause. If you answered YES to question B, keep reading; you are where I used to be a few years back! But no worries, there is a way out of it!
CAUSE & EFFECT
EVERYTHING YOU WANT IN LIFE, LIES ON THE CAUSE SIDE
IN LIFE WE EITHER HAVE RESULTS OR WE HAVE EXCUSES
Being at cause means you are the creator of your life, it means you take responsibility for what is working and what is not working in your personal universe.
Being in effect means that what happens or doesn’t happen in your life is the result of other people, events, and circumstances.
People that are decisive at creating the life they desire live life at the cause side of the equation. They see the world as a place of infinite opportunities; they focus on results rather than excuses. They move towards what they want.
They see themselves as responsible for what is working and not working in their lives. You know, it is easy to take pride in our achievements and brag about what we have accomplished, BUT we immediately tend to point our finger at someone, or something outside of ourselves if things don’t go the way we had planned it.
People that tend to blame other people or circumstances for their poor outcomes live life on the effect side. They have an excuse for everything that has gone wrong in their lives. They often feel powerless and depend on “others” for their happiness and achievements.
Living at effect sounds something like this:
I can’t make money because the economy is so bad right now.
My alarm didn’t go off this morning, and that is why I am late for school.
My husband made a rude comment, and that made me feel ashamed.
I made a wrong turn because my wife distracted me.
Our kids misbehave because my husband doesn’t know how to discipline them
The dog peed in the house because my wife forgot to take him for a walk
Any time you try to justify why something didn’t happen because of X, Y, or Z…you are putting yourself on the Effect side of the equation.
“I CAN” and “I WILL” are phrases in the mindset of a person living on the CAUSE side of life’s formula.
Living life “at CAUSE” is living life from a position of power and authority. It’s about taking charge, making responsible choices, causing things to happen, and fully accepting responsibility for any outcomes.
It’s the understanding and accepting of why something did not go as planned and learning from the process.
A person living at CAUSE will ask his or herself empowering questions like:
• How was I the cause for ________outcome?
• How did I contribute to _________?
• What could I have done differently?
• What can I learn from _________?
A side note on making “RESPONSIBLE CHOICES”
Everything we do is a choice! Some are conscious choices; some are subconscious choices. Ultimately, our life at this very moment is a series of choices we have made up to this point in our lives.
A responsible choice is an ecological choice we make for win-win-win outcomes. These are choices that are made based on three questions:
- Is it good for me?
- Is it good for others?
- Is it good for the planet?
If the answer to these three questions is YES, then you have made a responsible choice!
On the other hand, “I CAN’T, BECAUSE…” is the mindset of people living on the effect side of the equation.
Being a victim of circumstances, people, and situations
Living “at effect”, means having things happen to you. You become the victim of circumstances, situations, and other people. You look outside of yourself for someone or something external to blame. People who live “at effect” typically experience feelings of fear, powerlessness, and helplessness and thus leave things to chance rather than being in control.
Opportunities become obstacles and obstacles become excuses for why something did not happen!
For me, understanding this concept was probably the greatest lesson I have learned up to this point in my life!
I invite you to give it a try!
I invite you to make the decision today. Switch to the Cause side of the equation. Live your life from a place of immense power; live it to the fullest. Be happy. Take risks.
When the day comes to evaluate your life, would you rather have a life full of results or a life full of reasons why something didn’t happen?
Here is to living your life at Cause and creating the life you dreamed of!